Stressed Mum

Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Neat and tidy - how long will it last?

I have been having a sort out. You need to understand that there are currently seven people living in our house. Two of them have moved back home complete with all their student house possessions and one is just here for the summer. One has a collection of shoes to rival Imelda Marcos and one is into music. He has keyboard and digital drums in his room. The main problem is the piano which is being delivered tomorrow. It has to go in the lounge.

I began by moving a pine bureau from the lounge into the hall. I opened the drawers and found many photos from when the children were young. I couldn’t just put them back without looking could I? So I spent an hour looking through them, remembering good times when they slept at night and played out during the day, unlike now. Then I moved the shoe rack in the hall into … nowhere because I need to clear out the cloakroom to make room for it. In order to clear out the cloakroom I need the owners of the coats it contains to identify and remove them so that only those which are actually worn remain. Ditto shoes. Everyone was asleep or out so I gave up and made meringue instead!

When I managed to pin them down they didn’t want 90% of what was in the cloakroom so I now have a lovely streamlined look. I also have a big bag of good coats for the charity shop and a few items to freecycle. There are still a few stray items but a job well(ish) done I think.

Now does anyone have any idea where to stash the contents of two student houses?

It has been a while since my last post. Life has been busy, and stressful. I have been ill and one of my daughters involved in a car accident, fortunately she is ok just a broken ankle.
I decided it was time to get back to my blog and back to baking so this post combines the two!
Latest fun thing for me to make is bagels. I have to follow a low fat diet at the moment and they are great for that. I have tried out different types of flour and different toppings and decided that I like fennel seeds as a topping and 75% white, 25% wholemeal mix for the flour (although all white is good too!).
I use 450g flour, 1tsp quick yeast, 1Tabsp sugar, 2 tsp salt and 300ml warm water to make the dough. My trusty Kenwood Chef makes short work of the kneading and then I leave the dough to rise for an hour.
The fun aspect is dropping the bagels into boiling water with three tablespoons of sugar dissolved in it. After the dough has risen and the bagels shaped (twirling them round the handle of a wooden spoon is quite fun too!) they are dropped, 3 or 4 at a time into the water. They rise up to the top and you turn them over. After a couple of minutes you lift them out, drain off any water, sprinkle them with yummy seeds if you like and then bake them for 25 minutes. Delicious!
Check out my photo and give them a try, they really are easy. Let me know how you get on

Well it has been a busy month so far. Back to school, college and university for four occupants and a new degree course for me has meant a lot of time spent shopping, sorting, driving and working so I have decided now is the time for a major clutter sort out.

 I really need some more space in the study so that I can work whenever I get some time so that will be my number one priority, the kitchen is okay for now as it is quite new but the kids lounge and all the bedrooms could do with some attention so they will be tackled one at a time once the study is sorted. The garage also needs major de-cluttering but I hope that task will fall to my husband!

 We are major hoarders in this house so not only will we have to let go of some things which are rubbish but also those things which one day may come in useful and those which conjure up memories when we look at them. A lot of the children’s old stuff falls into that last category but as three of them are now grown up I am going to be strict with myself.

 Clutter not only looks untidy and makes it difficult to clean but it causes emotional stress too. It is frustrating to have to search every time you need something. I know it will take time to get the clutter under control but I also know it has to be done. So I am going to make a start by clearing the pile of papers on the right hand side of my computer. I knocked my coffee all over them this morning so they are slightly damp and have to be sorted NOW.

 If you have any tips or strategies to help me I will be grateful to hear them. I will keep you posted as I go.

I took my son to Imperial War Museum North yesterday. If you haven’t been and you are in striking distance of Manchester you should go.

I was immediately impressed by the dramatic architecture of the building and the inside impressed me even more.

It was educational, moving and entertaining all at once. It is hard to describe the sound and picture shows each hour which cover the high, white walls of this ultra-modern space with the images and memories of war, which touch your heart and make you wonder how anyone could wish the horrors of war on their own people or any other yet also bring out the courage and humour of people who coped because they had to.

My son is twelve and the exhibits contained the right mix of facts, images and artefacts to keep us both engrossed for almost four hours. A timeline from the start of the First World War to modern times explains how wars started and who was involved, a special exhibition on prisoners of war gave a different perspective to the conditions of their lives and their escape attempts than any film I’ve seen.

There is a pleasant café overlooking the canal and the added benefit of The Lowry Outlet being only five minutes walk away across the bridge! An excellent day out.

They did this

I did this

Is it only me that hates Alton Towers? I took my 12 year old son there this week, the first time I have been, and it was awful. We queued on the road to get in the entrance, we queued all the way to car park J, we queued to get the monorail to the park entrance then we queued for half an hour to get our tickets. We had been there an hour before we got into the park! Now, I am British and know how to queue but this is ridiculous.

I used Tesco Clubcard vouchers to pay for our tickets so it felt like a free trip but I had actually had to buy £3800 worth of groceries to get the tickets for myself, son, daughter and daughter’s boyfriend. Daughter and boyfriend were essential to the trip as I no longer go on rides since getting a whiplash injury at Blackpool Pleasure(??) Beach 20 odd years ago!

The weather was fine but not too sunny, we were armed with a picnic and a map and headed off into the park to spend the day queuing! The queues were so long that in the eight hours we spent there they managed to go on only seven rides. I spent the majority of the eight hours walking or standing around as there was nowhere to sit to wait for them as they queued for half an hour or so for a two minute ride. To crown the day I got stung by one of the several million wasps that were buzzing around!

The one pleasant part of the day was a peaceful hour sitting in the beautiful gardens reading Mansfield Park on my Sony Reader but I don’t think that alone would be worth the entrance fee of £37. My son had looked forward to this trip for weeks as a highlight of his summer break and he did enjoy it but was frustrated at the lengths of the queues and the number of rides he couldn’t go on, including most of the big ones he was looking forward to most. I suspect it will be a long time before we go there again.

We are all aware that we should be eating at least five portions of fruit and vegetables a day for the sake of our health. So how do you persuade your fussy children to do the same? Here are a few suggestions that have worked for my family, try them and see if you can turn your faddy eaters into healthy choosers.

The most important thing is to start with what they like. Don’t make too many changes at once and try to add to the foods they are already happy with rather than giving them completely new foods. You may have adventurous youngsters who love to try new things, I’ve heard they exist, your little one may refuse to eat anything except chicken nuggets and marmite or, most likely, you’ve got something in between. It doesn’t matter. Start from where your child is and make the changes small and gradual.

The best way I found to give my finicky eaters more of what I wanted them to eat was to hide it in something they already liked. When my daughter was six she decided to become a vegetarian. I couldn’t argue with this, as I am a vegetarian myself. The trouble was she didn’t really like vegetables! While she was at school the food processor came out and in went onions, mushrooms, butter beans or chickpeas for protein and any other things she wasn’t too keen on. Then I made a casserole with potatoes, carrots, peas and sweet corn and incorporated my healthy puree into the sauce. She had no idea how healthy her tea was. It is easy to do the same with a tomato sauce for pasta, add in some red lentils which cook down to nothing, carrots, onions, courgettes, broccoli and herbs and whiz it up in the blender. You can spread this sauce on a pizza too.

A great way to incorporate vegetables into meals is to make soup. Even the cheapest stick blender will hide any number of vegetables beyond recognition. Onions, carrots and potato fried gently then cooked with some stock and herbs and a tin of tomatoes will blend into a sweet, tasty soup most children, and adults, will enjoy. Lentils can be added to any mixture of vegetables and stock to give a more substantial soup. Serve the soup in bowls as part of a meal or in mugs to drink after school in the winter, filling, warming and good for you too.

When it comes to packed lunches and snacks you can have lots of fun. Make sandwiches tiny or in fancy shapes, my youngest daughter had a duck shaped cutter she loved when she was nursery school age. Make them appeal to the child’s taste, a wizard’s hat for your Harry Potter fan, chicks and Easter egg shapes, Christmas trees and stars, horses or cats. There are lots of cookie cutters available so make lunchtime fun. Children as young as one or two can easily cut out shapes with a little help. When it comes to fillings you really want a little protein and plenty of vegetables or fruit. Peanut butter, cheese spread or hummus make good fillings with salad vegetables. Don’t worry if they don’t like salad; add crunchy carrot and cucumber sticks, bags of mini carrots and grapes, satsumas or little apples into their lunchbox. When they need a drink or snack make that healthy too. Banana milkshake, strawberry smoothie, mango smoothie or fruit salad are always popular. If your children love their desserts then make some fruit puree to pour over ice cream or stir into natural yogurt. Stewed apples, pears or rhubarb are good with ice cream, yogurt or custard too and don’t forget that old favourite bananas and custard.

When you really want to introduce them to new foods you can hide them at first in sauces as above. Then try chopping the food up really small so it’s difficult to distinguish and only when they’ve accepted that should you move to bite size pieces. This may take several weeks or even months but it is worth the effort. Of course they may still resist but does it really matter? Think of any foods that you’re not keen on; there are probably a few. Does it affect your life or health if you don’t eat these foods? Probably not, so don’t worry if your children don’t like the same foods as you. As long as their diet is healthy most of the time and they get a variety of foods and nutrients during the week one poor meal won’t hurt them. You can always make a game of eating new foods too, a three year old can be allowed to have three spoonfuls of a new food before leaving the rest, moving up to four after a birthday.

When it comes to family meals no one wants to make several meals to give everyone their own choice. Try to make the choices part of the meal and your children may surprise you by trying things you may not usually offer them. A pasta bake can be made quite basic (with hidden vegetables in the sauce maybe) and then served with separate bowls of tuna, sweet corn and roasted vegetables for everyone to help themselves.

So, the general advice is to make the changes small at first. Try again after a few weeks if they resist change. Make mealtimes fun, relaxed mealtimes are pleasanter for everyone. Let the children get involved in choices and preparation. Lead by example, you may be so busy with the family you forget about yourself, so make sure you are getting plenty of fruit and vegetables too and eat a healthy snack at the table while the children eat tea if you are eating later.

Finally, don’t worry, faddy young children often grow up to be health conscious teenagers and adults, so don’t give up, have fun, enjoy your children and your food.

Back to the old catering problem again. The menu planning is working a treat combined with online grocery shopping but the plan is tending to be a little repetitive. I have however discovered a new way to cut down on the cooking. Get someone else to do it! This may seem obvious and other people in my household do know how to cook but don’t often wish to share their talents with the rest of the residents. Daughter 3 and her boyfriend often cook for themselves but he now wants to learn more dishes, especially Italian, so I have provided ingredients, recipes and assistance where needed and this week he has produced spaghetti Bolognese and shepherd’s pie. Tonight he is making chicken and bacon tagliatelle and on Sunday plans an Italian style roast chicken. He is also pretty good at Thai Green curry! I will soon be redundant in the kitchen! Not yet though and last night’s macaroni cheese was wonderful, especially with the addition of my home grown cauliflower.
Current favourite healthy snack is guacamole made with an avocado, large tablespoon of Philadelphia light, lime juice (or lemon if I’ve run out!) and a few Peppadew sweet peppers all whizzed together. Perfect for dipping freshly picked courgettes and carrots from the garden. Speaking of the garden, the sun is shining, previously mentioned cook/boyfriend is jet washing the patio (yes I’ve trained my girls well!) and my cup of tea and I might just wander out for a spot of light weeding.

One of those weeks. The neighbours had obviously gone away and left a teen or two in charge, with predictable results! The first couple of times we asked them they turned the music down, only for it to become even louder half an hour later. By half past 12, however, they were shouting and laughing and then a fight broke out. Having put up with several evenings of this I had had enough and called the police. That worked! I overheard one girl saying she had cleaned the blood off the carpet then someone saw the police car and they went into overdrive. Bottles were thrown into the recycling bin, music turned down and peace finally descended. I haven’t heard a peep out of them since.
By Thursday there were nine of us in the house. My three daughters were arguing, boyfriends and friend keeping out of the way, son hiding with the computer. I was getting stressed about feeding and finding bedding for everyone (only one had to sleep on the floor and all had quilts and pillows!), hubby went to work! Daughter and friend brought with them a dog and two rabbits, other daughter brought a turtle, I don’t like animals. A warning light came on in my car; I took it to be checked out at the garage as I am driving to Wales in it tomorrow. Cancel that, it won’t be fixed until Monday so I’m driving to Wales on Monday. My nephew has helped find temporary night shelter for the dog, one daughter and her boyfriend have departed to Lourdes and things are a little calmer. When the children were small I thought life would be simpler when they were more independent. No chance. When am I ever going to get the peaceful life I crave? And will I want it when it comes?

Yesterday was my eldest daughter’s graduation. My husband took a day off work and we drove up to the university in good time. We got on the graduation shuttle bus from the car park to the robing rooms, she emerged looking every bit the bright young lady she is and we were very proud parents indeed. She had a lovely day meeting up with her friends and we came away with a beautiful set of photos, unusual nowadays for her to let us take even one photo so they will be treasured.
The ceremony itself was a cross between Hogwarts and Parliament with a touch of church service thrown in. There were gowns and funny hats, processions and trumpets, organ music and hand shaking. All that was needed were a few owls swooping over the graduates heads and some candles hovering over their heads and it could easily have been part of a Harry Potter set or maybe some incense and a couple of hymns to complete the picture of a church service.
The main thing is we have come through high points and low, tantrums and tears, successes and failures and now have an educated, adult daughter ready to make her own way in the world. We are there for her always but she has to take her own path now and make her own decisions. I pray that life will be kind to her.